


Safety Net

by halfjoker



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, knife shoes appreciation society
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfjoker/pseuds/halfjoker
Summary: After finishing 4th in Saitama, Shoma just wants to hide in his room. That is, until Yuzuru convinces him to come over. And they have a history together...





	Safety Net

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to my lovely beta [shomaun_ho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shomaun_ho/pseuds/shomaun_ho) for dealing with this mess and everyone in KSSC who cheered me on along the way!

Disappointment tasted bitter on Shoma's tongue. When he escaped all the press and cameras, his tears added a salty note to it. It wasn't an appetizing combination, but he couldn't help it.

He wasn't good enough, his entire country had believed in him and he let them down. Stupid. He was so stupid for thinking he could win. Could he hide out in his room? Please. After screwing up everything he could today, he only wanted that one thing. He managed to slink away to his hotel room without attracting any unnecessary attention. He left his suitcase right by the door, kicked off his shoes, took off his jacket, threw it aside and climbed straight into the bed to curl up underneath the covers.

He felt strangely cold, as if he had swallowed a huge ice cube and it settled right in the middle of his chest. He formed a fist of his right hand and pressed it against his breastbone with his left. He didn't know why the blunt pressure helped, but he was certain that it did _something_ to calm him down. He took a couple of slower breaths. And just when he thought he was getting better, the vision of seeing the number 4 next to his name in the results table came back.

He missed out on a medal. It stung even more that he hadn't finished off the podium in so long that he legitimately forgot what it feels like. And it felt absolutely humiliating, especially when he couldn't blame anyone but himself. He was the one who didn't train enough. He was the one who fell. Not once, but _twice_ in the free skate. He was a failure. This time he didn't bother to stop his tears from coming out. He knew he looked ugly when he cried, but no one was here to see him or hear him, so it didn't matter. He let himself cry into his pillow.

He let out a low groan and pulled the cover over his head. Maybe he could sleep some of it off. He rolled over to the other side and closed his eyes. It was late anyway, no one would blame him for going to sleep. He should probably shower, but his limbs felt heavy and he didn't feel like leaving the safety of his bed.

Just when he thought that he would just deal with it in the morning, his phone went off rather loudly. Shoma's head poked out of the cover. He thought he'd muted it, and where was it anyway? It went off again. He sat up and looked around the bed. It wasn't there. It wasn't under his pillow or on the bedside table either. He found it on the floor right beside the bed and unlocked it. The screen lit up with two texts. They were both from Yuzuru. _What does he want? Rub it in that he won a medal and I didn't?_ He squinted to read the messages.

_‘Hey, wanna come to my room? I want to see you.’_

_‘I know you’re not asleep yet.’_

Shoma considered the offer. Him and Yuzu have had a couple of... incidents. No, they do not deserve to be called incidents. They were more like encounters which didn't involve much more than making out, eager hands, secret sleepovers, hiding a few hickeys and one single orgasm. They were among his most cherished memories, but they always felt like they were doing something wrong and he never knew exactly how they got there. But they never got further than that. One of them was always too scared of something to even consider it.

Thinking about their history, Shoma could only come up with one reason for Yuzuru to ask for him. He imagined that he was disappointed too, and wanted to drown all of his regrets in Shoma's body. That really didn't sound bad, honestly, but Shoma wanted to be alone with his misery and not be a toy for Yuzuru. He turned the phone over in his hands. The messages were still there, accusing him of rudeness, waiting for a response.

_“I know you're not asleep yet.”_

The words rang in his head, Yuzuru's voice repeating the sentence. At first, it was teasing, flirty and playful, whispered with a smile. Then it turned accusatory. _How dare you. What are you doing without me. You’re so cruel._ As the voice was gnawing away at Shoma's conscience, it slowly stopped attacking and withdrew its claws. The message now looked like a complaint. _Shoma, why aren't you with me? You should be with me. I miss you. I need you._

Shoma typed out a short response: _‘Why?’_

It was enough to convey that he indeed wasn't asleep, but didn't say outright that he was coming to his room. A response came soon enough.

_‘I feel lonely. Please, Sho’_

Sho. The nickname was his weakness. It sounded so tender. No one else called him that.

Maybe if he went, Yuzu could make him feel better. On one side, he craved comfort, on the other he didn’t want anyone to know that he did. Maybe he could forget about it for a little while and let Yuzu warm him up with his touches and make him feel like he belongs in that comfy bed beside him and nowhere else. They'd cuddle underneath the covers, their knees would knock against each other and Yuzu would jokingly complain about it, turn Shoma around, spoon him with arms around his waist to pull him closer and kiss his neck...

Shoma snapped out of his fantasies. He realised that he had no idea if Yuzu was actually in the mood for cuddling. He’d said he was lonely, but that could mean many things... Still, Shoma decided that going to Yuzuru’s room to see what he was about would be better than staying holed up on his own. The phone in his hand had gone dark when he looked back at it. He unlocked it and typed out: _‘OK I'll take a shower and come over to your room’_. As he took off most of his clothes and headed to the bathroom, he heard a notification of Yuzu's response. He didn't even need to look at the screen to know what it was.

Ten minutes later, Shoma emerged from the bathroom to see Yuzuru's favourite kaomoji glowing on the screen next to the number of his room -- not like Shoma didn't know that already, but Yuzu clearly didn't want to risk it. He rubbed at his hair to get it as dry as he could. Deciding it still wasn't dry enough, he pulled out the hair dryer. As much as he wanted to see Yuzu, he didn't want to walk out with wet hair, in case someone saw him and somehow figured out what he was about to do in Yuzu's room. He wanted to keep it a secret as much as was in his power. And the hotel corridors were always colder than the rooms, anyway. Hair now dry, he got dressed, sweatpants, shirt, jacket, shoes, nothing special, grabbed his phone, keys and headed out.

Now standing in front of Yuzuru’s room, Shoma got a little nervous. He was about to find out why exactly Yuzu wanted him so much and the uncertainty definitely wasn't pleasant, but the fear of someone seeing him hesitating there was stronger, so he knocked. In an instant, an excited Yuzuru appeared behind the door.

“Shoma! I've been waiting for you!”

 _Of course you were, since you invited me here,_ Shoma thought, but figured that it would be better if he didn't say it out loud. Still, there was a certain fondness to it, and he had to smile back. Yuzu stepped aside to let him in. With the door closed, Yuzuru's smile fell a little and gained a slight edge of sadness. Unsure of what they wanted to do, they sat on the bed and their eyes searched around the room, as if to find something interesting to talk about. Shoma chewed on his bottom lip. Looked at Yuzuru. Looked back down. Picked on his fingernails.

Yuzuru reached to take Shoma's hand in his. Shoma glanced over to see a reassuring smile on his face and leaned his head on Yuzuru’s shoulder. Yuzuru leaned his head on top of Shoma’s.

“I'm pissed,” Yuzuru said quietly. It didn't sound angry at all. It was rather a shaky confession of his sin.

“You wanted to win.” 

“Mhm.”

“So did I.”

Yuzuru's face crumpled up, as if in pain for Shoma. He squeezed his hand a little tighter. This championship hurt them both.

“I know. You did your best.” An attempt to console him, at least.

“No I didn't, and you know that,” Shoma spit out, considerably angrier. Yuzu straightened up, forcing Shoma's head off his shoulder, to look him in the face properly.

Shoma continued, “I fell once in the short and twice in the free skate. Three falls in total. It was the worst performance of the season. And I just wanted to be back on the podium with you…” Disappointment took over the anger in his voice as he looked down and away. He started blinking rapidly to stop himself from crying again.

“Sho...” Yuzuru let go of Shoma's hand to wind his arm around his shoulders and pull him closer. Shoma's head returned back to his shoulder.

“I know you feel disappointed. I’m disappointed too,” Yuzuru continued.

“But at least you got a medal,” Shoma retorted, a trace of bitterness still lingering.

“I wanted you to have it.”

“Shut up.”

Yuzuru blinked a few times, taken aback. He didn’t understand.

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t deserve a medal. You were all better than me.” His voice grew quiet, just above a whisper.

“Stop beating yourself up. You just had a bad competition. You need to stop thinking about it, or it will eat you alive.”

“I have to. I was healthy and won 4 Continents, but I still failed. You have an injured ankle, your last competition was in November and yet you got a world record and a silver medal. And last year I was injured too and got silver. I have to do better next time.”

“Shoma. Stop.”

Shoma was too choked up to speak.

Yuzuru started again, softer this time: “Hey, Sho, come on, let's move back on the bed. I want to hug you properly.”

Shoma was confused, but complied. He crawled across the bed to settle into the pillows and wrap his arms around Yuzuru. He thought he was already composed enough, but when he felt the fabric of Yuzuru's t-shirt and his hands sliding down his back to pull him closer, as tender as he could be, he just couldn't take it anymore. He needed the comfort and he needed to be touched and he felt terrible for using Yuzu to do just that. His eyes started welling up. Again. He squeezed the shirt in his fists as he cried. One of Yuzuru's hands slid up his back, until it reached his head and cradled it even closer to his chest. He gently petted Shoma’s hair and pushed it away from his face so it wouldn’t stick. He pressed kisses to the top of his head to calm him down. As he held him tight, Yuzuru rubbed little random patterns on his back.

After his shoulders stopped trembling and he wiped all remaining traces of his tears on Yuzuru's t-shirt, Shoma looked up. Yuzuru seemed concerned, his eyebrows were drawn together and the expression on his face read as nothing but sadness.

“Yuzu?” he asked, voice just above a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Are you mad at me?” Yuzuru's expression changed from concern to confusion.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because... because... you definitely wanted to do something else and all I did was come to your room to complain and cry.”

“Oh Shoma..." The concern in Yuzuru's face came back. “I just didn't want to leave you alone.”

“But I'm useless tonight, all I do is cry.”

“Shush. Unless you want to leave, you're staying here with me, okay?” Shoma nodded.

“Now, would you mind if I took my shirt off? I think it will be more comfortable if it dries somewhere else than on me.”

Shoma snickered: “Definitely not, you have to take it off now that you said it!”

Yuzuru disposed of his t-shirt in the direction of his suitcase, turned back around and stared at Shoma with a smirk.

“Now, Sho, what would you say to taking off yours too? You know, so that we’re even.”

Shoma mulled it over for a couple of moments, but then hauled himself up into a sitting position. “Fine. Take it off.”

“Wait, wait,” Yuzuru stuttered, “you want _me_ to take it off?”

“Yeah. Please?”

“Okay. Okay, I can do that.” He reached over, gripped the edge of the t-shirt in both hands and slowly pulled up. His fists dragged across the soft skin on Shoma's sides and ribs. However, Yuzuru had forgot that Shoma was very ticklish there. He yelped, drove his arms back down while recoiling from the touch, but he ended up losing his balance and flopping back down on the bed, taking Yuzuru with him. Now Shoma was pressed into the mattress, shirt stuck midway with Yuzuru heaped without any hint of grace on top of him, arms trapped in the folds of his shirt, face planted in the pillow beside Shoma’s head and knees somehow perfectly lining up with his.

“Ow! What the hell, Yuzu?”

Yuzuru stopped groaning from the pain into the pillow to mumble, “You said I should take it off.”

“Yeah, I said that. I didn’t say ‘please tickle me,’ so why you did that is a complete mystery to me, since you understood me just fine.” Shoma’s tone was clearly not annoyed. It was teasing, exasperated, trying its best to hide the fact that Shoma actually found this quite funny and the corners of his mouth were twitching upwards.

“I’m sorry, I…forgot.” Yuzuru arranged his legs on either side of Shoma’s thighs, so they wouldn’t be in the painful position of kneecap to kneecap anymore, but he didn’t move the top half of his body.

“Idiot,” Shoma chided, oh so fondly, this time with a wide smile on his face. He slowly moved his arms up and over Yuzuru’s shoulders. One arm slid across his shoulder blade and down along his spine as far as it could reach, with fingertips caressing the bare skin, warm and smooth. The other arm stroked up the back of his neck, until it lifted a few strands of hair and sank down into them. Not pushing, not pulling, just enjoying the heat radiating from Yuzuru’s body.

Shoma found the weight on top of him relaxing, but not overbearing. He sought the comfort of the contact, so he didn’t fight Yuzuru to get off of him, even if he had intended to tease him by it. Yuzuru turned his head to face Shoma and planted a little kiss right on his temple. He got a pleased hum and eyes slowly closing shut as an answer.

“Sho?” he whispered to get his attention.

“Mmm?”

“Can I finish taking off your shirt?”

“Mmm.”

It required untangling himself from Shoma and sitting back a little to slip the shirt over his head. He was more careful this time to only touch the fabric, in order to avoid disturbing Shoma even more. He looked so calm and peaceful like this, Yuzuru thought. He was successful and threw Shoma's t-shirt on the floor. As soon as he was done, Shoma lifted his arms up, finding Yuzuru's neck, and pulled him closer. His eyes were still closed, but his mouth stretched into a wry grin. Yuzuru happily obliged and laid back down, careful to slot their legs together, holding himself up on his forearms. Shoma’s fingertips lightly scratched on the back of his neck before moving to his shoulders. His eyes cracked open and blinked a few times to properly focus on the face right in front of them.

“Hello,” Yuzuru purred and kissed the tip of Shoma’s nose.

“Hi. You can come closer, y’know.” Yuzuru leaned in a little lower and brushed his nose against Shoma’s.

“Like this?”

“Mmm, that’s nice, but I kind of meant lying down again. You won’t crush me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. C’mon.”

Yuzuru’s hands carefully reached for Shoma’s waist. They didn’t tickle anymore. They tenderly caressed the skin while closing in an embrace. As he put all his weight on Shoma, his nose poked into Shoma’s cheek and their foreheads pressed together. He lightly kissed the corner of Shoma's mouth. Shoma kissed him back, unhurried and light, savouring every moment of it. He cupped Yuzuru's cheek to gently run his thumb over the cheekbone. The kiss grew messier and more heated. Shoma's mind was completely focused on that and nothing else. It helped him forget that the outside world with all of its struggles and disappointments existed. He had Yuzu on top of him. Yuzu kissing him had to mean that things were okay. That he still hadn't lost this.

They broke apart to take a breath. Yuzuru had to stretch his back, so to keep Shoma close to him anyway, he rolled him over to his side. Shoma saw an opportunity and promptly craned his head up to nip at Yuzuru's neck. He knew it was a sensitive spot and it was perfect for teasing, provided he did not make any visible marks on it. As he was peppering it with little pecks, he felt the vibrations of a long moan dragging its way out of Yuzuru's mouth.

“Shh, you don't want to get caught,” Shoma whispered right into his skin, deep down satisfied with himself.

“Mmm, but you have to stop doing that.”

“Ugh, fine, I'll stop, then.” The mock annoyance in Shoma's voice sounded funny, but he actually stopped kissing Yuzuru's neck. Instead, he kissed a straight line down his body across the length of his sternum. He stopped there and pressed his face into it while wrapping his arms tightly around the small waist. He let out a hum. It sounded so pleased that Yuzuru could for a moment swear he had a cat curled up in his bed. He felt a shiver run through him and was abruptly pulled back into reality, where they were both shirtless and even though they were doing their best to keep warm, they needed something more. A blanket.

“Sho?”

“Yeah?”

“Don't you feel a little cold like this?”

“A bit.”

“Do you wanna move under the covers?”

A nod, along with a satisfied purr.

Yuzuru kicked at the blanket underneath them until it wrinkled at least a little and he could grab it without having to sit up completely. He pulled it up to wrap it around his own shoulders, but as he felt Shoma's doe eyes staring at him, he realized that it would completely drown him. He ended up covering Shoma up until the bottom of his nose. He looked adorable, only the top half of his face and messy hair peeking out. The warmth must have got to him quickly, because as soon as he had the blanket over him, he snuggled a lot closer and yawned. Yuzuru spoke up softly:

“Sleepy?

“Mhm.”

“How about we just go to sleep?”

“Sounds nice.” Yuzuru kissed the top of Shoma’s head and got up to turn off the lights. He heard Shoma stretch and yawn again. Then a soft thud as Shoma pulled off his sweatpants and tossed them on the floor. Just before Yuzuru slipped under the covers again, he stopped to do the same.

“Yuzu?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I really stay here?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Yuzuru gave him a kiss, turned him around and pulled him closer to be the little spoon. He knew it made him feel safe and protected. Shoma linked his fingers with the hand that held him around his middle, pulled it towards his lips and kissed it. It was a small gesture, but it showed a great amount of gratitude. Yuzuru could feel Shoma's heartbeat underneath his skin, a strange kind of intimacy, but one he thoroughly enjoyed. He wanted to keep Shoma in his arms for as long as he could, protect him when he was vulnerable and support him when he was capable of fending for himself.

“Good night,” he whispered into his ear. Shoma murmured it back. He fell asleep only a few minutes after, exhausted from the events of the day. Yuzuru followed, reassured that Shoma was completely comfortable in his arms and had no trouble sleeping. He nodded off with his lips on Shoma's crown, whispering sweet little nothings into his hair. If the only thing he did right that day was making Shoma feel better, he knew he did it properly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to talk to me, [I have a CC!](https://curiouscat.me/jokerfics)


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